took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
