sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
