you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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