U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
