so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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