I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
