my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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