were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night