And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.