She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.