Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
