i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
