so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize