At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize