Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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