hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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