I have demons in me.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
its liver damage thursday
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
