Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
