I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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