I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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