my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
