im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
