I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
