Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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