it wasn't lemon gatorade
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
