No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
