Even the bartender felt bad for me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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