So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
