I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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