she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
