Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
