He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
