So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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