we made out on top of his cat.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
