We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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