i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I need water and some morals
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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