Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize