Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
