I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
