I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
