So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
