My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
