i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
