I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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