just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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