Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
your room smells of hookers.
And success
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize