its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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