a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize