East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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