Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
