Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
