And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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