Do you still have your period?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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