brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We got so high we made milksteak
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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