Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
