I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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