I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
wow bdsm is so cute
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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