found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
