You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
