Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
