I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
