The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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