...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Someone shit on the floor
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
