Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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