dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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