he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize